Advent countdown

I have really come to love this time of year more and more as I've grown older and especially as I've become a parent.  I think for many years, especially when I was working full-time and we had money to spend on presents, the focus really was on Christmas day and there was little time to spend doing the activities that I now find the most meaningful.  Although I wish we had the money to be able to give presents as we once did I have found that not being able to doing the typically shopping has actually relieved quite a bit of pressure and stress from this season.  I have a few items I will always spend money on: sending Christmas pictures, make goodie plates for friends and family, and putting together yearly picture collages of the kids for their grandparents through a great Costco program (check it out, it's super cheap and easy!).  But other than that we really try to make our focus family events, memorable meals (the Grice traditional fondue Christmas Eve dinner and sticky buns for breakfast), and fun crafts at home.

With the baby due to arrive any time (literally!) I haven't had the time or energy to do as much as I would like but have managed to fit in at least one fun activity each day, so far.  Here are a few ideas if you are looking for them:

Crafts:
Tissue paper stars, candy canes, Christmas trees, wreaths, snowman, etc.  Making tissue paper crafts is one of my all-time favorite activitites with the kids because it doesn't require anything other than cardboard (recycled cereal or cracker boxes), glue, and tissue paper (I save what I get from birthdays, showers, etc so have a ton).  Here's what you do:
1. Draw the shape of whatever your kid wants to decorate on cardboard paper and cut it out.
2. Cut appropriate colored tissue paper into approx. 3x3 inch squares.
3. Have kids crumple the squares into small balls
4. Put glue on shape (small portions at a time) and allow kids to stick tissue balls on the glue.  The more colorful the better.
5.  Hang the crafts all over your house!
6.  You can do this any time of year.  We've made numbers, letters, leaves, pumpkins, etc.
7.  Another benefit of this project is that it can be done over many days.  It often takes my kids a few days to finish something.

Baking:
My all-time favorite recipe to make with the kids this time of year is reindeer cookies.  They are easy and have specific steps the kids can easily perform (starting at about age 2).

Reindeer Cookies
36 large pretzels
handful of broken pretzels
1 lb white almond bark
82 chocolate chips
36 red M&Ms

1. Lay pretzels out on wax paper (I do it on our table since our counterspace is limited) spread apart a bit.
2. Melt almond bark according to directions (I have better luck on the stovetop than in the microwave).
3. Spoon small amounts of almond bark into the three spaces of about 5 pretzels at a time (if you do them too quickly it will dry before kids can make eyes, nose, and antlers). 
4. Help kids use chocolate chips for eyes, M & Ms for nose, and broken pieces for antlers.
5. Let dry and store in large Ziplock bags.

Christmas Cards/Pictures:
Encourage your kids to color the back of envelopes for family and friends.  After I've addressed each envelope (or as I'm in the process), I hand them to the kids and ask them to color something for each person.  They always enjoy this and it's a nice way to bring up great memories of people we haven't seen for a while.  As the kids get older they'll draw more specific and meaningful pictures but when they are younger just giving them some red and green crayons and letting them so crazy is great.  I also think it's fun for those receiving the cards to see!  Just be sure to give yourself a few days to get this done as they typically run out of steam after 10-15 envelopes.

Advent Chain:
This year my daughter came home with an Advent chain package from her Sunday school class which we've been putting together, but it's easy enough to make your own too.  What I like about the one she brought home is that it is a chain of Jesus' names throughout scripture so each day we read a new verse and discuss different names that Jesus is called in the Bible.  But you can also do this with regular paper and make the typical rings and write down things you are thankful for, activitites you want to do together, things you have learned from the season, etc.

Unwrapping Christmas Books:
If you are like us you've acquired quite a few Christmas books over the years, everything from the traditional Christmas story to secular books about the season.  A fun activity I read about last year is to wrap these books up and allow kids to choose one a day to open and read as a family.  Of course you can open more than one a day if you want!  I decided to put all Christmas books away in storage last year so that they are new and fresh when we bring them out - plus it saves a little room on our shelves!

Passing out Christmas Goody Trays:
I love the process of making, putting together, and passing out goody trays to family and friends.  I think it's a great way to allow kids to participate in the process of making gifts and giving them away.  We take them to neighbors, church volunteers, family, and friends.  Of course it does take some prep work and planning but it's one of those activitites I really don't mind spending some extra time on.  This year I'm limiting my actual cooking to just a few items and trying to make goodies that require less baking time - simply because of the time and energy used to make them items.  You can always include satsumas, nuts, candy canes, hot coco or apple cider packages, etc. that don't require any prep work on your part.  Just the time spent putting together each plate and spent handing them out (preferably in person) are what warm my heart and this is what I want to pass to my kids.  It's not about how big a gift you give or how much you spend, it's about the thought and love behind it.

Attending Community Functions:
Our favorite outing, other than ones put on by our church, is the "Living Bethlehem" put on by a community church in the area.  Last night was our 3rd year attending and it has become more meaningful and special with each year.  It's really amazing how much kids take away from these events and the memories they create.  With the Internet it's so easy to look up free events that you can attend locally.     

Absence

It's been a while since I've had a chance to post anything here.  Mostly this is due to the fact that I've just been busy and my priority, when I have the time to blog, is posting on my family's site.  But there has been a lot I've been wanting to share and the following two posts are book reviews that I wrote over the last few weeks and just now had a chance to edit and post.  You probably wonder how I find time to read.  It's a good question!  I don't have much time at home and most of the reading I ever get done is when I am subbing, something I did more of a few weeks ago but haven't recently been doing a lot of .  Most of my reading is done with my kids or for my weekly women's biblestudy.  I'm currently trying very had to get into a fantasy series, Wheel of Time, that my husband wants me to read; he's been engrossed in it for the last few months.  I really want to read these so I can enter the world he's been exploring but fantasy isn't my first choice of genre so it's much more work for me.  The other factor working against me, of course, is that this new baby of ours will be entering the world in a few short weeks and I don't anticipate having any free time after this!  However, all that said, my best recommendation for getting time to read is simply unplugging your TV and computer.  It's amazing how much extra time there is when these two devices aren't available to suck our time.  Not that all the "sucking" is bad but let's be honest, at least half of what we do online is completely useless and has no value at all - same goes for TV. 

I have a few more posts I hope to get up before this baby arrives so check back in the next week or so and hopefully I'll have had a chance to get to them!

Love and Respect

I’ve long believed that the best gift you can give your child is to love your spouse and show them a positive and genuine example of marriage. Unfortunately, it’s easy to lose focus of this conviction when stress, exhaustion, and frustration set in. I am too quick to take this out on my husband. Although I love my husband wholeheartedly and am still very much in love with him I sometimes feel I’m not communicating this to him effectively. The book I’m currently reading, Love and Respect, has completely enlightened me to why I am feeling this way and what I can do to make some positive changes in my marriage and in the example I’m setting for my kids.

The author’s basic theory, learned after years of counseling and pastoring, is that women and men have different needs when it comes to receiving love and our society has done a poor job of showing women how to effectively “love” their husbands. He doesn’t let husbands off the hook and has some very clear, straightforward advice and challenges for men. But obviously what I was looking for most was how to show my husband love in a language that he both heard and received. I realized that although I’m good at loving (as most women innately are); I’m not always so good at showing respect. And respect spells love for men. It’s not that I purposely don’t show him respect; I’ve just been ignorant as to what this actually looks like.

Just as husbands are called to love their wives unconditionally, wives are called to respect their husbands unconditionally. This is what most women get caught up on because in our eyes our husbands aren’t always acting in ways that we feel deserves our respect. But are we always acting in a way that deserves his love? Of course not! Respecting unconditionally doesn’t necessarily mean always agreeing with his actions but it does mean treating him respectfully through our actions and words. It also means getting to know what respect looks like and feels like to our husband. The author, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, gives very concrete, specific examples of ways we can let our husbands know that we respect them (he also gives husbands great examples of ways they can show their wives love in ways that are meaningful to us).

All couples go through phases of what Eggerichs appropriately calls “The Crazy Cycle”. I don’t think I even need to explain it since anyone who’s been married any amount of time can easily identify with this term. He explains that when in this cycle most often it takes one party to let go of whatever issue may have seemed to start the cycle and to start showing their spouse unconditional love and respect. Although it might not be instant, any good-willed (he uses this term a lot) spouse will respond positively when this happens. As with all marriage advice, the solution starts with you. And it’s not about changing your spouse; it’s about giving them what they need. In return they will begin to give you what you need.

I highly recommend reserving this book at your library or purchasing your own copy. It’s a book that would be good to have around as it’s really easy to forget our good intentions when life takes over. I now finished reading the book about a month ago and already wish I had my own copy to refer back to. Old habits are so hard to break and gentle, and not-so-gentle, reminders are necessary at times to jolt us out of our stubborn ways. I hope some of you benefit as I have from this book!

She Said Yes

On the tail of finishing Love and Respect I came across a book I’ve always been interested in reading but never have, She Said Yes. This is a short book written by Misty Bernall, the mother of 17 year old Cassie Bernall, a victim of the Columbine shooting horror of 1999. Misty wrote this book in the weeks and months that followed her daughter’s death (something she took some criticism for) and I think she does such an amazing job of showing the very real, raw pain of grieving and also the amazing redemptive power of remembering and allowing others to learn from your experience.

While by no means a polished, eloquent writer Misty is personal, honest, and vulnerable in her sharing of the ups and downs of parenting Cassie throughout some very rough spells of rebellion and spiritual warfare. She doesn’t preach at all but rather allows the events and circumstances speak for themselves. One thing she does reiterate throughout is the importance of being present with your kids and doing your best to enjoy each stage of their life – a reminder we all need daily, sometimes hourly!

Although many people focus on the end of Cassie’s life, the fact that she said “Yes” when asked at gunpoint if she believed in God (and I don’t want to downplay the significance and amiability of this) but I felt the real power of her story is in the journey Cassie took to get to a place in her life where she really did believe in God in a real and personal way. Two years before her death Cassie was in a place in her life where she easily could have been one of the Columbine shooters rather than a victim. Through the sharing of Cassie’s own letters and testimonies from friends it is very evident that Cassie had given her soul to Satan at that point in her life and had surrounded herself with “friends” who had done the same. It’s eerie to read the letters Misty and her husband found that lead to their family completely uprooting themselves, her quitting her prestigious job, and them devoting themselves 100% to redirecting Cassie’s life. Their struggle was very real and not at all one I hope to ever know first hand but it’s one that too many parents have known and are currently facing.

Of course my favorite aspect of the book is that Cassie does find God in a very real, personal, genuine way. And yet her struggle still continued, as it does for all of us, to feel worthy of God’s love and to incorporate our faith in real and tangible ways. Cassie was 17 when she died but the insight she had into life was amazing. She was a very honest girl who struggled with all the same issues any kid her age (and much older) feels internally but often doesn’t explore very deeply: faith, esteem, friendship, marriage, good vs. evil, body image, family relationships.

I highly recommend this book on both a personal and parenting level. It’s another book that would be good to have around to re-read sections of as children get older and new issues and battles arise and we forget the fragility of life and the absolutely amazing gift it is to be a parent.

Friends

I cannot overemphasize the importance of a few close, trustworthy, honesty friends to walk through life with. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir, but if you have not invested in at least a couple meaningful friendships over the last year, you really must! I am blessed with more than a few really quality friends and boy have they helped put my life into perspective more times than I can count.

This morning is a great example. I had a really horrible night. A few things factored into this: me choosing to stay up too late, two of my kids waking me up a few times for varied lengths of time, three kids up way too early, and raging pregnancy hormones that have caused me to be extra emotional and completely irrational. My poor husband, with every good intention, happened to call me this morning to check in while I was in the midst of feeling pretty low. So, guess who got an earful and more – yep! I’m sure I don’t have to give any details for you to imagine how the conversation went. He gracefully excused himself once he realized my ranting and tears were not going to end any time in the near future and I was left alone to reflect on my unkind, disrespectful monologue (I hardly gave him room to say anything, not that I was really listening when he did). Of course I felt horrible and wanted to curl up in a corner and bawl my eyes out once he was no longer on the phone. But since that was not an option I bawled for a while in the kitchen, hoping the kids didn’t notice too much. Once I composed myself I knew what I needed to do: call a good friend, and I knew just the one. We have been trying to connect for weeks now and the timing was right since she would be on her way to work. Part of me really didn’t want to talk to anyone but I knew I needed to. Not that I needed to rehash my conversation with my husband or have anyone feel sorry for me, I just needed a good dose of reality, and I knew my friend would give it to me.

And she did. We had such a good conversation. I shared my emotional rollercoaster, without unnecessary details, and she listened and sympathized. And then she shared some of her life, of course putting mine in perspective, and I sympathized. I think we both came away with a better grasp on our situation and more determined to be the women of faith and integrity that we want to be. I love that although we live far apart we can continue to connect on a very real level.

Of course building these types of friendships requires time, energy, and emotions of their own and sometimes the effort to maintain them seems more than it’s worth, but it never is. We need each other, we need to be real, and we need to allow others to carry our burdens with us. We also need to be that for other people. But before we can be that or receive that, we need to know ourselves well enough to choose the right people to be around. What are your values, the things that matter most to you, what is your particular phase of life that currently defines your reality? These answers will help lead you to other people who will be of particular help and importance in your current walk of life. For me my focus and reality is being a wife and mother of young kids and trying to integrate my faith into each area in very real and applicable ways. So the obvious area for me to find friends is either at church or bible study or some other similar venue. I’ve had to be intentional about engaging, following up, going out of my comfort zone at times, and adjusting my schedule to make room for developing friendships. It’s not easy, even for an outgoing person like me, but it is so important.

I really believe that without quality close friends, even if you have an amazing spouse or significant other, you are forfeiting one of the best gifts that life can give. It’s not until you have mornings (or days, weeks or months) like I just had that you can really appreciate the full magnitude of these friendships. At times it might feel like you are stuck on the giving end of a friendship but I guarantee that if you are transparent, real, and engaged you will eventually be at the receiving end (maybe more than you want!).

So, thank you to all of you out there who are this type of friend to me. I know I could have called on quite a few of you this morning and you would have been available and happy to give me a shoulder to cry on. I hope you know how much I value you and how grateful I am for the unique voice each of you is in my life.

Nesting

I’m about 28 weeks into my fourth pregnancy and the nesting has already started. Obviously I am limited in the amount of “extra” work I can add due to the sheer amount of energy required of me daily to parent my three little ones, keep a decent house, and make sure we are all happily fed. Most of my nesting energy up until recently has been focused on sorting, organizing, and purging clothes. We have been extremely blessed by many friends and friends of friends who continue to pass their used kids’ clothes on to us. I can count on less than one hand the number of new clothing items we’ve purchased for all three of our kids combined – now that is amazing! Obviously “beggars” can’t be choosers, so I don’t always have the most stylish kids on the block (but they wouldn’t match their parents if they were!), but we’ve gotten some pretty adorable clothes along the way, and everything has been practical (most important!). The only downside to getting hand-me-downs is that I have to constantly be sorting and storing. I have boxes for my almost 4 year old son with clothes up to aged 6. My not-yet 3 year old girl already has boxes with 3-6 clothing. Needless to say, trying to find the space to store clothes for both genders from 0-6 years of age can be a challenge! Not to mention the boxes holding my non-pregnancy fall/winter and spring/summer clothes. No wonder our garage is so crammed!

Now that I’m caught up with clothes sorting (until I have to switch my 15 month old into his 18 month clothing – soon!) I can focus on other things. Recently cleaning areas of neglect and cooking hearty fall meals has been my passion. After reading (not for the first time) about alternative cleaning supplies that are much “greener” and less toxic than traditional cleaners I was inspired to buy a huge bag of baking soda and two huge jugs of vinegar from Costco. I’ve been using the baking soda in the sinks and tub and the vinegar (1 C plus 3 C water) to clean everything from countertops to windows. I’ve also been using baking soda and hydrogen peroxide as toothpaste once a day – it works great if you can stand the taste! I read that you can use ¾ C of baking soda alone on laundry and it works great so I decided to test it on the dirtiest thing I clean – cloth diapers. I added 1 C of baking soda and ½ C Oxi Clean and the diapers came out smelling and looking great! As soon as I use up the detergent we have I’m switching to this formula – I’ll use less of each on regular loads I just used more because of the volume and grossness of the diapers!!  I’ve read plenty of times about using these common household ingredients for cleaning but have never been as inspired to test them out as I am now. I’m happy with the results and plan to do some more investigating. I’ll share my findings.

The cooking aspect of my nesting is a bit frustrating only because we simply don’t have the storage space to make and freeze all the dishes I would like to have on hand when the baby arrives sometime in December. We’ve talked about purchasing a freezer for a long time but due to limited space in our garage don’t really know where it would go. Plus, we really don’t feel like moving a freezer and we’re fairly certain we’ll be moving a few more times over the next couple years (although God could always pleasantly surprise us!). So as it stands I don’t have much room to freeze but I still have the urge to cook! I’ll share a few of the recipes I’ve made this week, all of which make large portions and are great for freezing.

Lentil Stew (serves 10-14)

16 oz dried lentils
1 med. onion, diced
3 stalks celery, cut small
3 C tomatoes (I use 2 cans of diced or stewed tomatoes w/ juice)
½ C pearl barley
2 large potatoes, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 med. carrots, sliced
8-10 C broth (start with 8 and add more if needed)
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. rosemary
1 tsp. oregano
2 tsp. salt (to taste, I usually add 2+ tsp. Johnny Seasoning)

1. In large pot bring lentils, barely, onion, garlic, potatoes, celery, carrots, and stock to a boil. Reduce heat to lowest temperature, cover, and simmer about 35 min. (add more liquid if needed).

2. Add tomatoes and seasoning. Cover and simmer 30-45 min. longer or until lentils are tender.

I HIGHLY recommend making this recipe in the morning and then letting the stew sit and thicken for a few hours (off of burner). It tastes MUCH better after thickening!! I could eat this once a day for weeks, it’s so hearty and tasty and healthy! Google “No Knead Bread” for a great rustic bread that you can make to accompany this. I make this bread a lot and it’s super easy!

Chicken Enchiladas (serves 6-8)

3 chicken breasts, cooked and chopped or shredded (I boil frozen breasts for 20 min).
16 oz light sour cream
16 oz green (verde) salsa (choose mild or med. depending on preference)
2-3 C Jack cheese, shredded (can use any cheese you have on hand, cheddar works fine)
10-14 tortillas (10 inch)
3-4 C red enchilada sauce (you can make this pretty easily if you prefer, find a recipe on allrecipes.com that fits your liking)

1. In a large bowl mix chicken, salsa, sour cream, and 1-1 ½ C cheese.

2. Layer 13x9 dish with thin coat of enchilada sauce.

3. Fill each tortilla with 1/3 C mix, roll and place in dish seams down. You should fit 8 tortillas in 13X9 dish. You can use a smaller dish to make 4-6 more or you can freeze or frigate the mix for later use.

4. Cover tortillas completely with enchilada sauce. Top with remaining cheese.

5. Bake 20-25 min. @ 350, uncovered.

6. Serve with extra sour cream and salsa if desired.

No – Bake Chocolate Cookies (makes 3-4 dozen, depending on size)

1 ½ C sugar (it calls for 2 but is super sweet, suit your taste!)
½ C butter
½ C milk
3 C quick-cooking oats (I used old fashion because that’s what I had and they were still good!)
1 C peanut butter
6 TBS cocoa powder
1 tsp. vanilla

1. In a saucepan boil sugar, butter, and milk for 1 ½ min.

2. Remove from heat and quickly add remaining ingredients.

3. Drop by spoonful onto wax paper, let cool about an hour.

I haven’t tried this yet, but I think adding ½ - 1 tsp. peppermint flavoring might taste good?!

Pregnant and Sick: What can I "take"?

Being sick is never ideal but it’s especially unwelcome when one is pregnant and the remedies available are very limited. I haven’t escaped the sick bug for any of my pregnancies, I doubt anyone has completely, and having just recovered from what I hope to be my last bout of sickness as a pregnant woman, I thought I would comment on a few things I could and did do to get through the worst of it.

I realize that not everyone is a “purist” like me, meaning they are a bit more lenient on themselves when it comes to what they do and don’t do during pregnancy. But the combination of my “just grin and bear it” attitude and my husband’s “don’t do anything they even hint you should do during pregnancy” attitude, it leaves very little room for the regular default when sick: drugs.

What I am recovering from (I do still have a lingering cough, which always seems like the last symptom to grab and hang on at the end of an illness) is some form of sinus cold; mostly a really congested, achy head with lots of mucus flow preventing comfortable sleep for a few nights and leading to some irritable, exhausting days. The first night I was absolutely exhausted but ended up lying in bed for two hours tossing and turning before I thought to get up and use the first remedy I was taught as a child by my mom:

1. Gargle and sniff warm salt water. It sounds strange and is admittedly pretty gross, but I promise it works! I filled a 16oz glass cup with ½ tsp salt and as hot of water as I dared (the hotter the better job it does of breaking up the mucus) and alternated between gargling (really make loud noises with your throat to break up the mucus) and sniffing (just as it sounds, sniff the water through your nose). You will be amazed and grossed out by the results. Lots of phlegm that was hanging around in your nose and throat! It relieved me enough to sleep soundly for a couple of hours. I continued this routine quite a few times a day and night throughout my two worst days of sickness, each time with considerable relief. Be sure to have a tissue around for blowing your nose really well when you are done!

2. Hot lemon water and honey. Another of my mom’s remedies and one that is virtually free. I always have lemon juice concentrate in the fridge (but you can also just squeeze a fresh lemon) so I just pour about ½ inch worth into the bottom of a mug, add hot water, and sweeten with lemon (I like mine more tart than sweet). The lemon does wonders to sooth a sore, raw throat (something else I found myself with). As far as I know you can do this as often as necessary. The other benefit is that you are getting hydrated without forcing down cup after cup of water, which may not be too appealing at this point.

3. Hydrogen peroxide in your ears. This is actually something you should do at the first hint of sickness because it is suppose to help ward off the sickness. I can’t get technical here but if you do a google search of flu and hydrogen peroxide you’ll find all sorts of sites giving the medical reason this should be effective. My husband and I try to use hydrogen peroxide in our ears every time we are feeling a bit off and it has seemed to help over the years. I admit I did do it this time but maybe not soon enough. Anyway, here’s the method: Get a rag, some peroxide, and a pillow and lay on one side. Pour about ¾ capful of peroxide in one ear and relax as you feel the peroxide start to bubble. The more it bubbles (you should wait between 8-10 min. for it to either stop or heavily subside) the more it’s suppose to be working. I have tried it when I don’t feel sick and most often it never does bubble, so I do actually believe it’s doing something right when it does bubble. When the time is up switch sides and repeat. The bubbles can be a bit tickly if they are really going crazy but for the most part I find this a relaxing activity. I’ve done it more than once in a day but usually it doesn’t bubble much the second time.

4. Drink Jello that is still warm and hasn’t had a chance to settle yet. This was the recommendation of my neighbor the other day and she had a package she insisted I try so I did. I simply added a cup of hot water and a cup of cold water and drank it slowly. It was quite tasty and there was something about the gelatin texture that was soothing. By the time I did drink it I was pretty much better but I could see how this would be especially helpful if you had flu-like symptoms and weren’t able to stomach much. It’s also great for kids. My kids, like me, were pretty much better by last night but they were delighted to try the Jello drink and I have a feeling it will become a requested favorite when they get sick again – and something I won’t have to fight them to ingest. It does have quite a bit of sugar in it but I’m sure you could get the sugar free or make your own if you wanted.

5. Drink as much water as you can get yourself to drink (within reason of course, don’t go shocking your body because you can actually drink too much water – I’ve known someone who ended up in the hospital with serious issues because of it). Just be sure you drink at least the recommended 8 cups of water a day, and preferably more like 10.

6. Nap. Ok, I know most of you don’t need to be told this but I do! I am not a good daytime sleeper, or at least I wasn’t until about my third pregnancy. Then it became a matter of survival because my naps were really just getting me as close as possible to 8 hours of total rest time in 24 hours. I hate taking naps because I like to use that time for other things I can’t usually do when the kids are awake. But between weeks 8-18 of pregnancy I find it hard to resist them when I do have a chance. And when I’m sick I find them especially helpful for giving me the boost I need to endure through dinner and bedtime routines without having a complete meltdown. So please, if you are like me and tend to write naps off for “lazy people”, get over it and take one. You’ll be glad you did (once you actually wake up that is, sometimes I do feel worst for about 10 min. after waking up because I’m so out of it).

I’m sure I could think of more but I’ll stick to these. I would be curious to know what others of you do to deal with sickness without drugs (pregnant or not). I’m always open to trying new things as long as they are virtually free and not too strange!